Feb.17, Nov. 17, Dec, 17.

Three dates that have given me my happiest, most nerve-wracking and life-changing moments, all forever engraved on my very existence. The three dates that marked the last days of my fairytale, dates that triggered the necessity for urgent, illogical and yet invigorating changes.

Di man inaasahan, ngayo’y kinakailangan.

The significant things that happened on those dates made me rethink and reconsider my choices, my path. I do not claim, never claimed that I fit in where people think I do(which is exactly where I am now. Ironic, yes.). I have always felt hollow, like every inch of me is dying to break free, but from what? That I did not know. And so thesoul-searching begun.

Mundane as some task seemed, they pushed me towards, not to greater heights just yet, but to a whole new launch pad. A promise of a new high, a promise to defy gravity, a promise to fly like , be an eagle. I now know what I want, it’s just a matter of how hard I am willing to fight myself for it.

Closer-to-dream-day is slated on th first 17th of 2010. Yes, on January 17, 2010, not only will I be excited to dress up for a close friend’s debut, I will also be spending the day’s first 8 hours focusing on not effing up what may be my first and last chance I’ll ever have to a whole new adventure. Wish me luck, people. I’ll be needing it.

Seventeen, please be significant just when I need you to be.

I don’t know how this thing works, I can’t even insert images on my posts (Light bulb moment: Oh, that’s why even I get bored trying to read my entries. Haha). Techno-dumdumb here *gasp*

Please do leave comments on how to’s and important notes I should remember. Any takers? Puh-lease.

Thank you.

On my Mom’s 38th birthday, my little “sister” was born. Each 8th of October is a double celebration for the Santos-Velasco-Ricasa suuuuppperrrr extended family.

Mommy is THE bonding agent that keeps are zany sometimes unbearable, family intact amidst everyone else’s (myself included) pointlessness. Mymy’s not my real mom as most of my friends are aware of, she’s my father’s mom who opted to adopt a baby they weren’t even sure whose real father is. For all they know, I might not even be a Santos after all. Yet she gave me love beyond compare and despite her fears that I would marry young(all her three children did) she didn’t rob me of my freedom nor deprived me of her trust. She’s the most generous person I know. A lady full of sunshine and love, yea she gets mad but it never lasts really long, we all always know we can come back to her soothing arms and benevolent ways. We love her in countless of ways and reasons.

I guess that rubbed off on Danica, she’s like mom in every way, gentle in manner and pleasant in nature. Both have the gift of self-control, poise and sophistication evident even in their younger years.

They both don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone because they know their worth and they command self-respect because they give it to everyone.

Women of few words but strong creds. I can no longer wish anything more for them but the kind of love they deserve and high regard constantly given to them.

They’ll forever be regal in our eyes. Our Queen and enthroned princess shall always have us, their family, as their loyal subjects. *bows*

AKA, Eks, Bestie, Jaiho and Tintin, Ma. Christina Fabito is mostly perceived as an artist. And she is, but she is MOOOORRREEE than that.

Eks, like the other women in this entry, is of exceptional character. She knows what she likes and what she doesn’t, she won’t apologize for her preferences and she’s always ready with a quirky story. Or nine. Her uplifting bluntness and eccentric personality will guarantee you of a fun, meaningful conversation.

You can count on her to find joy in the simplest of things and humble acts of thoughtfulness.

We had our moments, our ups and downs but letting her go would be one of the stupidest thing I could ever do. Nobody can give as good a tough love as Ma. Christina Fabito.

The layers of her personality are as diverse as her many talents. Though what you see would definitely be what you get, your first impression cannot sum up the entirety of who she is. Heck, we’ve been friends fo over a year and I’m still discovering something new about her everyday.

To Bes, you are loved. I know you don’t need reassuring, you’re too independent and secure for that, but just so you and everybody else know, I love you. WE ALL DO (Tuks&FBCs: Yeaba! We do! We do!). You are blessed with a number of families and that’s because people feel that you have much love to give. We are all lucky to have you. Uhm, mwahugs. Haha. 

*Eks will be turning 17.

**For Daniella Marie De Castro, Ma. Christina Fabito, Rosario Santos & Danica Rose Velasco

It’s now the 4th day of the 2nd greatest month of ‘the year, October (1st being Christmas month. Haha.). And that only signals two things to me, (1) the sem is about to end so I better start CRAMMING my brains out and (2) prepare your piggift bank ’cause, yes des, it’s birthday season. And it’s not just random people’s birthdays; these are people very dear to me. VERY.

October 5: Daniella Marie Laureano De Castro

This year’s Huminteg’s very own princess’ 18th (Wow, talk about apostrophe overload) . Our little girl is
finally a lady, a very stunning one, mind you. Iella’s a friend to everyone and is the last person one would last suppose of holding grudge or judging people prematurely. She is open to anyone and everyone and would willingly lend a helping hand or comforting hug just when you need it, most of the time, you don’t even have to ask for it.

Iella is every bit a stunner and achiever yet she never is snobbishly vain. Her genuine humility makes it impossible not to like her and her positive attitude just makes people want to be close to her. I usually want to burn the perfect kind of girls alive, but even trying to imagine hurting this deceptively seeming vulnerable girl is revolting in itself. She is bereft of God’s greatest gifts: beauty, intelligence, grace, optimism, wonderful family&friends (ehem) and a future that only seems to be getting brighter everyday. Proving herself worthy of all these, she never fails to praise and thank God for everything He has given her. She is just as thankful to everyone for the littlest things one would do for her, she makes other people feel loved as much as she can and never talks ill of anyone, can anyone say ideal much?

May you always be wonderful and may each passing year be filled with abundance.

No I’m not the girl who can’t be moved, ’cause I’m swiftly moving backward. I’m stuck in vague, formless moments and trying to remember all of them is an obvious abuse of memory, mainly ’cause I am unsure of their existence.

In each ‘were’, ‘might have been’, ‘should have been’, ‘never been’ and ‘still is’, a throbbing, unusually comforting feeling grips me for varying durations and intensity for its mere mention. A feeling I used to detest but now crave.

**Why am I posting this? I don’t know, I just felt the need to post something. Let this serve as physical proof of my self-inflicted mental hiatus. Yeah, yeah, I know I sound stupid. Gah.
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In every stroke is mockery
In every glance, scrutiny
Self-satisfying immodesty,
Misdirected vanity

Yet unquestionable chemistry
Obliterated all fears, anxiety
I have faith, what’s past is history
No plans of reopening the gallery

So my whimsical reality
And his clandestine irresistibility
To hope through despondency,
To submit in the midst of anarchy

In every touch now lies honesty
In every look, sincerity
His candour ways erased all falsity
And redefined eternity

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****Reposted from my multiply account originally titled: Lull-induced lunacy and Fixated accordingly.

“Son des mots qui vont très bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
That’s all I want to say,
Until I find a way,
I will say the only words I know that you’ll understand.”

Rio beats Madrid in the last round through a landslide victory with more than half of the International Olympics Committee members voting for it, making it the first South American country to host the the giant event.

50,000 screaming Brazilians roar in the streets of Janeiro after the announcement, that being the complete opposite reaction of the streets of Chicago (voted off the first round despite Obama&Oprah’s presence),
Tokyo (least number of votes by the 2nd round despite $4billion alloted fund for the Olympics) and Madrid.

Brazil will also stage another major sporting event on 2014, the World Cup tentatively called the “Copa 2014″.
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Letterman admits in yesterday’s Late Night episode to having sex with his female co-workers in response to a $2million extortion plot against him.

My two cents: There are countless relationships and flings built on the foundation of constant exposure&close-proximity. And let’s face it, women LIKE funny men. Letterman’s former girlfriend and current wife was his employee and one won’t see any harm with old Dave having female friends inside the work place.

The thing we have to consider though, is Letterman’s not just their boss. No one’s JUST a boss when your name is written in every corner of the office.

Given that, the questions everyone’s asking are,

Did the women he slept with feel any pressure to do so out of fear of losing their jobs? Well, they most probably did to a certain level. Even if it was pressure not intended to be felt, they were bound to have a certain amount of anxiety by the mere thought of rejecting Letterman’s advances.
Did Letterman use that to his advantage? Well, duh, it’s called having game.

I think that people should start pressing the queries on his office’s rules on office romance and if the women involved were hounded by REAL threats of losing their jobs, even implied or ones said in jest.

One thing for sure, his late night buddies would feast on the Letterman issue in their monologues like vultures on a fat,dying elephant. Haha. The following weeks would be great for late night TV.

Sorry Dave, this time, you’re your own punchline.
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Went to Cainta yesterday for University-wide relief operations with fellow Iskolars ng Bayan.

Yesterday was my personal 3rd non-consecutive day of volunteering (each for different organizations) to try and do my part in the recent Ondoy disaster.

it was the most exhausting but the most fulfilling day. I spent the last two V-days repacking donated canned goods and old clothes and it’s really nice to experience really reaching out to the victims of Ondoy.

The University Student Council in cooperation with different UP Manila organizations and Cainta’s local government held a medical mission and relief good distribution in Cainta yesterday. We experienced passing relief goods via human chain, going from one block to the next (there were 12), sadly we ran out of goods to share and it’s quite unfortunate to see some people not do the right thing (falling in line several times despite the fact that we have limited relief goods, trying to cut in line, etc.). Good thing, there were still many peeps who chose to think of others first before themselves.

Things got pretty heated up during some moments, but their happy thank-yous are enough reason for us to do it over and over again if we have to.

Some of us then played doctor&pharmacist during the medical mission. Hands down and caps off to Pharmacy students, it ain’t easy, I’m telling you. Tricia and I were fillers(we had to fill out the prescriptions, meaning: looking for the medicines and getting the right amount/dosage) while Cleve did the auditing on the meds prescribed. We were with other UPM peeps from CAS, CAMP, CD, CM, etc.

It was fun, but I don’t wanna say “’til next time”,nooooo, Im not wishing for another disaster.

May we all just feel the spirit of giving sans the weather disruptions and massive destructions and may we always remember our obligation to ensure the betterment of our fellow people’s quality of life and happiness.

To whom much is given, much is expected.

God bless everyone. Stay safe.

The little things we do are nothing but manifestations of the greater purpose we want to serve. I guess that also holds true for the things you refuse to accomplish.

To say that this sem is not my best one is an understatement. It’s–I’ve been miserable, not because of UP’s toxicity but for my lack of motivation. I know that I’m not the most diligent of students nor am I the innate, monstrous-ly intelligent kind; I’m just the regular Jane as they may say. This sem has been different in may ways, though. I sometimes have to literally drag myself to school; I just don’t see the purpose anymore, I just am not into it all of a sudden.

Last week, I realized what caused my perspective on education’s hasty shift from driven to nonchalant. I realized that I want, I need something else. I can’t disclose the details of what exactly that something else is, not yet. Just not yet.

From that moment, I started chasing after what I want, the desire I suppressed for the longest time because I was anxious of becoming selfish is catching up on me, I had to do something and I did. One-day-closer-to-dream-day started this gradual process and it would take months of sheer hard work and utter dedication to reach it, but I’m willing to do everything for it, even giving up the things that matter to me most and shattering with my bare hands the safety net I’ve carefully woven for myself. I don’t have to risk them, but I will and I should; otherwise, I’ll forever blame myself for not making the decision and taking the steps towards my happiness.

I am going to make it. Watch me.

~Update with full details by 1st week of May, 2010

Last Supper No. 3, directed by Veronica Velasco and Jinky Laurel

Best Film, Short Feature

Bonsai, directed by Borgy Torre III

Best Director, Full-length

GB Sampedro, Astig

Best Director, Short

Dexter Cayanes, Musa

Special Jury Award, Full-length

Colorum, directed by Jon Stefan Ballesteros

Ang Panggagahasa Kay Fe, directed by Alvin Yapan

Special Jury Award, Short

Blogog, directed by Milo Tolentino

Special Mention

Engkwentro, directed by Pepe Diokno

Best Actor

Lou Veloso, Colorum

Best Actress

Ina Feleo, Sanglaan

Best Supporting Actress

Tessie Tomas, Sanglaan

Best Supporting Actor

Arnold Reyes, Astig

Best Screenplay, Full-Length

Vic Acedillo, Nerseri

Best Screenplay,Short

Mark Philipp Espina,Behind Closed Doors

Best Production Design

Benjamin Padero, Mangatyanan

Best Cinematography

Pao Orendain, 24K

Best Original Scoring, Full-Length

Dinig Sana Kita

Best Sound, Full-length

Astig

National Council for Children’s TV Award

Dinig Sana Kita, directed by Mike Sandejas

NetPac Award Baseco

Bakal Boys, directed by Ralston Jover

Audience Choice Award, Full-length

Dinig Sana Kita

Audience Choice Award, Short

Tatang, directed by Nico Hernandez

Lay down your arms

Take off your armor

There’s no one to fight

Rest your head on my shoulder

And if in just short while

I’ll fight your battle

Sleep and dream in my arms

You’ll find your freedom

Eventually

Just close your eyes

Let it be